Hi again Tony
was reading the poem
«The cure is the curse»
how fucking right it is!
I am going to photocopy it
and bring it to the Jewish General Hospital
were I am registered for my methadone program
they are very good people
the first methadone clinic in Montreal
but they don't know shit about drugs
all they know is the protocol treatment
that is to say
methadone is the ultimate solution
I wish I could put them all on methadone
take my 165mm and make a fruit punch for Easter!
Anyway to go back to the reflex ion on H
I do thing it is the best drug on earth
(beside what I already have expressed
about LSD and Cannabis...)
Burroughs did it all is life
and wrote the greatest books ever
but he was disciplined
(although not when he was in Morocco
where he was called
El Hombre Invisible!)
I think that you have to be careful
because I don't know but playing with codeine
even if it is over the counter etc
might be insidious...
well you know all about that as much as I do
If I did all drugs and alcohol in industrial quantities
heroine is the only one that I managed moderately
I was smoking one point a day
30$ Canadian
or shooting the same amount
the ideal program would be
to shoot one point in the morning
and then one point at supper time
as a matter of fact
if I could have kept my pot smoking
to that rhythm
it would have been real peace and love
anyway...
I think it is a good objective
to say to oneself
if I get to be 60
I'll do the last stretch on H
and then when you get there
you might decide otherwise...
for the best or the worst...
my greatest mistake
was to stop smack
and then again
may be if I hadn't
I wouldn’t be here talking to you
who knows
I was seeing my psy yesterday
very good looking and a bit grunge
28 I guess
and I think she fells something for me
she had like drowsy eyes
when I told her
I felt like buying a lot of H
and slowly bring down the methadone level
and bring the H in...
I was serious when I said it
but deep down inside
I knew it was just to make a statement
about the methadone bummer...
another thing Tony
when I read you dedicating words
in «Songs...»
and saw the little spoon drawing
I thought that if you do more of those
I would you call them
«doodling»
you could put some with your poems
Cohen did that in his last book
and Ginsberg maybe or Corso or Patchen
anyway others did it
it would make a great book
and a great read etc
I wish I could draw and do it
I got most of what I want to send you ready
1. Express pour l'Eden (most recent poetry book)
2. Roman d'amour (published long ago and very rare... collector's item!)
3. Chansons d'épouvante (most recent CD... 2 years ago... UNDER AUT'CHOSE)
4. Chants de l'Amérique inavouable (complete songs lyrics)
5. Neons in the Night (choice of poems, translated... both version)
6. If I can: Dans la jungle des villes (recent CD under FRANCOEUR)
7. if I CAN: «EXIT POUR NOMADES»... ROAD MOVIE based on my life and art... documentary-fiction... in California and New Mexico and Quebec etc
and I will give you expiation for each book or cd and dvd
may be I will send what is ready this week like the 5 items mentioned above
and the rest as soon as I get it ready...
well Tony
wish you the best
(come to think about it and what you said about Nico growing...
I stop doing coke when my daughter was 5
because I did not want her to see her daughter coming home after a 3-4 days binge...!)
so you are doing the right thing staying «straight» (mostly) until she's grown up...
you do not want to miss any of those next years that are the most important
then she will become a young woman and a woman
like my Virginie here
and although she is still my baby and will always be
she has her own life and lives it without us
luckily she is still staying home with us!
And I tell myself
that when she leaves
then I'll go back on H
you see
it is always postponed... always later... then I'll be to old to hit the vein!
Take care my friend
Lucien
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